Today i'm going to show my own stories that i made in Pobble365
FLYING 2 & 21.5.20 DF
One day the big hawk started flying up in the sky that no one could barely see . The big hawk started feeling hungry.
So he went down in the sky and started finding food. The big hawk felt tired finding his food. The hawk said “ I’m hungry, why is there no food around here’’ the hawk yelled. He went back to his little home and went for a sleep. When the big hawk was still in a deep sleep, there were two goats that went past. Of the big hawk. The big hawk felt something. His narrow,yellow eyes searched relentlessly. Until the big hawk saw the footsteps of a goat.
The big hawk Followed the footsteps of a goat. And trying not to give up, until the big hawk. Herd something, the big hawk followed again until he found we’re the two goats hiding. The goats started shouting for help. The big hawk started to gulp and gulp. The big hawk said “ ohhhh this is going to be a good dinner for me only muahahahaha’’the hawk said.
And the big mouth of a hawk started to open and….. The big hawk is now really full with his food.
THE END
Kia ora Daphnee, I really like your story. But they have some mistakes. Also those mistakes are the part where you wrote of the big hawk and then there is a fullstop there. I didnt get that part. Also the part where you wrote a capital letter instead of a lower case letter. You can edit them in your free time.
ReplyDeleteHi Daphnee,
ReplyDeleteI really like your story, maybe next time you could tell what happened in the story after the Big Hawk ate the goat. You have some mistakes in your writing. You can fix them in you time.